2 Weeks and Counting

In just two weeks I will have my surgery. These past few days, and I am sure the ones to come, have been like awaiting the birth of a long hoped for child. A new beginning. A new life. Expectation for the future.

I want to be clear that I in no way perceive or believe weight loss surgery to be the magical solution to all my weight issues. That would be a foolish belief. And momma didn't raise no fool. The one analogy that I've used with people is that this surgery is more like a bundle of dynamite. Not enough to take down the whole mountain, but enough to make the mountain a bit more manageable.

Nice to compare myself to a mountain right? Well I've heard worse about me. I've said worse about me! And that is way up there on the list of things I will not miss. The stares, the comments, the snickers...(snide laughing, not the candy bar I will miss those).

I've been on both sides of the women's department so to speak. Having lived for many years as a size 8 to 12, I know what gets said of those in the 18+ sizes. And no not everyone is childish and mean, but there are some very mean spirited people in the world. Folks who have no clue what it's like to walk in a size 22 outfit. People who think the 22's need to have a little self discipline, push away from the buffet table and stop having a side of beef with a gallon sized milkshake for lunch.

But no one could be as mean to me as I am was. It is was probably more of a protective measure than self loathing - you know, I make a fat comment/joke to let you know that I know you are thinking along those same lines. That way you don't have a chance to hurt me I've already done that.

I look forward to working on letting that go. I will be losing and gaining at the same time.

This week was spent taking various medical tests and that along with much busyness at work helped the week to pass quickly. There was bloodwork, and echo cardiograms and more blood work and so on.

Test results are all in. I have very mild sleep apnea, not enough to warrant a machine. Which I am glad about since I understand the cpap machines can run expensive. My heart is very healthy, all things considered. My blood did show me to have an infection, taken care of easily enough with antibiotics.

This week I will start the liquid diet in order to lose weight before my surgery date. Yes you read that right, I will need to lose weight before I have the surgery. Only 10 to 15 pounds. Why? Because just that little bit will reduce the risk of surgery on my morbidly obese body. It is also shown to help speed recovery and increase weight loss during the first year. My doctor recommends Isopure protein powder which comes in Dutch chocolate, mmm yummy. I am trying to psyche myself up here folks!

I am hoping it tastes half-way edible. I've heard it said "Nothing tastes as good as thin." That is a load of...and that person's momma couldn't cook. There is a lot of stuff that tastes better than thin. If that were true, we'd all be thin. Now, I am not aiming for thin. No way honey, I did that for too many years with tragic results.

I am aiming straight for healthy.